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The Angry Mac Guy
"You know what really grinds my gears?"

Anger Source

This is the complete and definitive listing of everything that makes the Angry Mac Guy angry. Updated: 3/5/07

  • The Nazi Argument
    You normally hear this from the sort of people who organise student demonstrations or set up online petitions. They would have you believe that the Angry Mac Guy's abstention from voting puts Great Britain in danger of becoming a Nazi state! An argument that only serves to demonstrate a rather simplistic understanding of historical events.
  • Fund Raisers
    What happened to the good old tin rattlers? You dropped 50p in, got your sticker and everyone was happy. These days you can’t go fifty yards without being accosted by a sickeningly cheerful individual wearing the livery of some new charity and after briefly flashing some literature at you, you are quizzed for your bank details. No longer do identity thieves need to trawl through your rubbish at night – now they just have to get a clip-board, a laminated badge and vaguely plausible sob story about the plight of blind cats in Zanzibar!
  • Cheap TV
    "For the employed, Big Brother is a bafflingly successful Channel 4 cash cow whereby a squawking gaggle of future ex-z-listers are put in a cage for what seems like a decade, and stared at by idiots." - Chis WIlliams - These shows are merely a symtom of the advancing mental atrophy of the once great British public. A nation that is becoming stupider by the minute who are enraptured by the banal exploits of has-been celebrities desparately trying to increase their airtime, and national lampoons seemingly oblivious to their abnormality.
  • Geek Leechers
    These are the kind of people who only ever call you up or speak to you when they need something fixed. They rarely offer compensation for your troubles, and presume you enjoy the chance to spend an afternoon eradicating spyware, worms and viruses from their PC's.
  • Smoking drivers with "Baby On Board" signs
    One hand on the wheel, the other flicking cigarette ash out the window!! This will ensure the emergency services are aware of the child in the event of an accident, and are able to rescue it so it can live a long and happy life suffering from bronchitis, pneumonia, chronic asthma or lung cancer.
  • Excessive use of text speak
    Why people feel compelled to replace full english words by numbers even when they have a keyboard complete with every letter of the alphabet at their disposal is quite beyond the Angry Mac Guy.
  • Claims Direct, lawyers4u etc
    "I was leaning out a 1st floor window to paint the sills when i fell out and badly injured myself. My employer handn't fitted a safety net around the building. I got £7000 compensation." Why should the pathologically inept be compensated for their own acts of idiocy?
  • Recording Industry Ass. of America
    A self serving club of ego maniacs whose sole purpose in maintaining the status quo is to extort profit from consumers and artists while eradicating ingenuity from the market.
  • Cyclists Who Block Bus Lanes
    Why can't they use the pavements? Instead they cycle about a third of the way into the bus lane - just enough so that the bus can't pass them and is forced to travel along at the same pathetic pace as they do.
  • Offensive Email Users
    Not the content, but the people. People who think their email is so important that it deserves to always be sent with high priority, or the people who think they are so important that they should know when you've read their email and request a read reciept for every message they send.
  • Blogging
    Maddox put it best when he described the act of blogging as "what your mind would do if it had to take a dump." By the way this is not a blog - it's an original site, dedicated to only one thing, stuff that angers the Angry Mac Guy. Its not a generic layout filled with details of his every bowel movement and hyperlinks from every second word - that's a blog.
  • Mac bashers
    These people are narrow minded and have limited understanding of computers in general. They are normally Windows users - in which case fairly easy to rebuke. However sometimes they are hard-core linux nuts. These are not the sort of people you want to hold a conversation with under any circumstances. Don't worry though because they are normally re-captured very quickly.
  • Fat People - in certain circumstances
    The Angry mac Guy has no problem with people being fat. What he can't stand is fat people in denial. Fat people should buy a bus ticket for every seat they intend to occupy. Fat people who blame their proportions on bone structure or genetic make up are equally annoying.
  • Political Correctness
    Use of the phrase "differently able", or trying to ban the phrase "brain storm" (incase it offends the mentally ill) is a surefire way to annoy the Angry Mac Guy.
  • Power Tools in the A&E Department
    If you are stupid enough to shoot yourself in the head with a nail gun then you have no business being in an A&E complaining about how long you've been waiting. Quite frankly you deserve the slow painful death you are about to experience.
  • Low Fat, High Fibre, Probiotic, New Age Hippy Food
    Is the Angry Mac Guy the only person who realises that downing a shot of brown coloured diluted milk each morning is not going prolong your life nor prevent a massive heart attack at the age of 45. Instead, try cutting it down to just 1 pack a day - that'll save you money which you can spend on private healthcare when the innevitable happens and so avoid having to make small talk with an idiot sporting a black & decker protruding from his forehead!
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